Man of Ruin_Episode One Page 4

  “Yes,” said Martin, finally. “We were in the trees…” he trailed off. “In Hope Park…” he trailed off again.

  For some reason, Martin was being very, very crap. At what point should I step in, I wondered?

  “And why were you in the trees in Hope Park?”

  Martin looked at me pensively. I realised also that the nurse was stood nearby, in earshot, glancing at us suspiciously.

  “We were smoking,” said Martin, his head drooping as if he was talking to the headmaster.

  “Smoking? But why did you—”

  “Smoking weed,” said Martin, his head lower now than I thought possible.

  “I see…” said the doctor, sounding both judgmental and unconvinced.

  From the corner of my eye I could see the nurse with her hands on her hips, looking accusingly at me.

  “And what happened?” said the doctor. “How did this injury occur?”

  “Well,” said Martin. “It was the tree.”

  The doctor was staring at him, waiting for more information, but for some stupid reason Martin just left it at that. You need to give a bit more detail than that you idiot! I screamed at him silently, in my mind, all the while shifting my weight from foot to foot as the absolute need for a wee increased.

  “The tree?” said the doctor.

  Christ I thought, it was like pulling hairs out of your backside. The doctor must think we were the biggest pair of nincompoops to ever grace his emergency room.

  Yet Martin was apparently dumbstruck. I could hold my tongue no more.

  “The tree fell on us,” I said.

  The doctor looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

  “We don’t know what happened exactly. It just sort of fell on us. I was lucky. Martin here… wasn’t.”

  “Are you alright?” said the doctor, looking at my shifting legs.

  “No,” I said. “I need the loo.”

  “Well why don’t you go then?” he said, impatiently.

  “Alright…”

  I sighed. They had me now. I didn’t want to leave Martin, who I now realised had the mental strength of a paper napkin, but what choice did I have? I had to go.

  So I ferreted myself away.

  As I left, the nurse grabbed me by the arm.

  “Smoking weed is it now aye?”

  “What?” I said.

  “You’re friend’s been hit in the head. It’s obvious. I’m in training, I’ve seen it before. You lied about what happened.”

  She was practically digging her nails into my arm.

  “Get off!” I said, pulling away from her. “I need a piss!”

  “Arsehole!” I heard her say as I legged it down the hallway.

  “And the rest,” I muttered.

  *****

  I’ve never been in a hospital I liked, and this one was no different. To me hospitals are just big mazes full of poor bastards. The sick and dying, overworked and underpaid nurses, doctors who think the world of themselves, plus all those silent staff who toil underneath it all, the admin, cooks and cleaners shovelling the proverbial (and sometimes the real) shit. I didn’t think I would ever be so pleased to leave a place as that hospital, the only problem was I was in such a rush I couldn’t actually locate a way out.

  I walked up and down stairs, along stretching corridors with far too wordy medical terms written on doors, doing my best not to knock anyone over as I hurried, all the while the need to pee increasing as if someone had stuck their foot right down onto my bladder. My insides were going into overdrive, and I needed release!

  I passed a toilet. I considered the consequences of using it. I was not even on the ground floor, I knew, since the emergency room was a few floors up where they had a special car-park at the back for all the ambulances to arrive. I could cause serious, serious damage with such a wee. But take a moment to consider what it’s like to hold onto almost a litre of Tango in your bladder for what must have been over a half an hour now, on a bastard hangover, and in a highly stressful situation. I’d already opened the floodgates back in the park, and as the saying goes, once you open the doors, there’s no closing them.

  I put in one last burst of energy into finding the exit. The trouble was, there were plenty of signs pointing towards ‘EXIT’, only it never seemed to materialize. I ran past a tuck shop I had already run past before. Next, the same little room with plant pots and sofas. It was all just corridors and closed doors and not even a window in sight. I was lost, going in circles. I could feel the wee almost ready to seep right out of me.

  Sod it, I thought.

  A terrible way to make a decision, I know, but the truth is, by this point, the decision was out of my hands.

  So when I saw the toilet up ahead for the second time, I ran straight for it. I opened the door without even a furtive glance left and right to see who was nearby. It didn’t matter, whatever would be, would be. It would be shocking, it would be shit, but at least it would be… a relief.

  Chapter 4

  It was a single cubicle with a string pull light and all kinds of helpful plastic handles around the seat for sick and disabled people to grab a hold of. I pulled up the seat and prayed with that silliest of voices inside me that believes miracles can happen. I prayed that whatever was happening to me, it had happened, past tense, and my wee would be normal now. Just normal, smelly, yellow, pee.

  It wasn’t to be. The water fizzed and let off a whispy yellow smoke as soon as my urine made impact. I groaned and watched as it sheared down through the water and cut into the bowl beneath, cracking right there before my eyes. I kept pissing and my wee continued its relentless journey down, cutting through anything that got in its way. The water from the toilet flooded all out over the floor and the toilet itself then crashed to the floor in pieces with a loud thud.

  I kept on peeing. I had to. Now I was afforded a sight of the innards of the floor below, the dusty stuff they pack between floors. My wee simply melted and smoked it all away into nothing until I was looking down onto the room directly underneath, another toilet, thankfully empty at that moment.

  Finally and gladly finished, I stood back carefully, worrying the whole floor might cave under me if I wasn’t. There was banging at my door now too. I guess the noise of the crashing floorboards and the water seeping out everywhere had caught someone’s attention. I had to leave, one way or another. I washed my hands in the sink, feeling a strange sense of calm.

  The banging continued.

  “Hey!” someone shouted. “Are you OK?!”

  I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed.

  “What the hell!” I now heard someone shout from below, their voice carrying up through the messy hole I had created.

  I glanced down to see someone looking up at me, a man dressed in black overalls and scowling at me with an unshaven, haggard face. One of the cleaners I guessed, a poor sod who had a bit of a job on his hands.

  Now I really had to leave. I stepped back, my trainers dripping wet. I prepared myself. There was only way I could get out of this intact.

  I took a deep breath, opened the door and ran straight through.

  *****

  There were several people stood in the hallway outside. As I expected, I caught them completely off guard with the suddenness and speed of my exit. I ran right through them, knocking into one as I did.

  “Oy!” someone shouted as I legged it down the corridor.

  I didn’t look back.

  Round the corner I passed the lifts again as I ran. This time I got lucky, one of them was opening at just that moment. A bunch of sad looking people stepped out and I rushed in. Another oldish woman who had been waiting for it got in with me.

  “You alright dear?” she said, sounding genuinely concerned.

  “I can’t find my way out,” I said. “And my bus leaves in five minutes…”

  As you can see, I had my wits about me. Not desperately needing to empty your bladder really does improve ones state of mind.

  “Oh I know
,” she said. “This place can be very confusing. Just push for level 1B and you’ll be straight in the car park.”

  “Thanks!” I said, pushing 1B.

  “That’s alright,” she said.

  It was only a momentary ride down to 1B. She noticed the wetness of my jeans and shoes and I could see was about to say something when the door opened.

  “See you!” I said, running as fast as I could out into the car-park.

  *****

  I ran to the bus stop and waited anxiously for one to pop along, not even daring to think really, just wanting to get away from the hospital. I hardly had a plan for the morning, let alone the rest of the day or, indeed, my life in general now. I dared not look back, fearing a bunch of angry hospital staff in hot pursuit.

  I was very relieved when a bus arrived only moments later. I got on it, heading to the High Street.

  I sat up top and front and watched the suburbs roll past, trying to just chill out.

  So Dave, now what? I tried to think about what my options actually were.

  Then my phone rang. Christ, I thought, looking at it with a groan. It was James again.

  Reluctantly, I answered.

  “Hi James…”

  “How’s he doing?” came the gruff question.

  “Yeah, he’s alright.”

  “What’s the prognosis?”

  “They’re not sure yet, they have to run tests.”

  “Right. Doesn’t sound like he’ll be out any time soon.”

  “No,” I agreed. “Looks like he might have hit his head when he fell.”

  “Shit.”

  “I know—”

  “And it’s all your fault of course,” he said, catching me off guard with a half joke delivered in a harsh tone.

  There was an awkward silence.

  “Me?”

  “Tell me what happened.”

  “Look mate, it was an accident.”

  “Yeah but it’s still your fault. Remember, I know.”

  He was laughing now, the bastard. It was very funny to him, the whole situation, yet still he managed to be all pushy. I sighed. There was no point in denying anything. On the other hand, I didn’t want to grant him the satisfaction.

  “Can I speak to him?” said James.

  “Speak to him?”

  “Yeah, the twat’s not answering his phone. I guess he’s got a good excuse. Go on, put him on would you.”

  “I can’t.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “Er…” I hesitated, always a mistake when dealing with James.

  “You’re not with him.”

  “No,” I sighed again. “I had to leave.”

  “You left him there all on his own?”

  “I had to!”

  “Why?”

  I was fairly sure he knew now and was just winding me up, wanting to pry out every last detail as he always did.

  I took a deep breath and croaked the words. “I needed to pee.”

  “Needed to—” he said, then cut himself off with the most raucous, horrible laughter I think I’ve ever heard.

  I didn’t like James, I admitted this fully to myself in that moment. We were more friends by association. Yeah, sometimes we had a laugh I suppose, but usually it was not directly between us, there would be others around all sitting in the pub getting pissed up and joking about football or something. Put us in a room just me and him and things became awkward.

  “You think it’s funny?” I said, while he was still laughing.

  “Yeah. It is,” he said, finally calming down. “Right Davey. You have to come meet me. Now.”

  “Why?”

  “What do you mean why? Why the hell not? You got somewhere better to be? Like, the hospital maybe?”

  “Hang on a minute—”

  “Just come and meet me, alright. We need to talk. Meet me at the park cafe round my way, alright?”

  Ugh. I felt sick thinking what kind of shit he was going to pull on me. Sod him, I didn’t want to see him, yet the way he was talking only reminded me how poorly I really knew him. He was unpredictable. So perhaps I should do what he said, play his game, at least for now. God knows what he might do otherwise. It was stupid to assume that things couldn’t get worse, that would be based on nothing but dumb hope. The facts said otherwise. Granted, perhaps meeting him would make it worse too. I just didn’t have a clue.

  “Davey?”

  “Yes alright, see you in 20 minutes.”

  I took the pleasure of putting the phone down on him. What with the day I was having, I needed to take all the little pleasures I could get.

  *****

  James was sat at a table out in front of the cafe in Hope Park, in his black puffa jacket and in that sprawled way he always did, the chair on its hinges, his legs out straight, slouched, looking at something on his phone with what always looked to me like a sadistic grin. He hadn’t seen me from across the field. I watched him swipe left and right and continue with his grinning, then he reached for his can of coke. As he lifted it he saw me approaching. His grin turned to something else, recognition, a nasty kind. He nodded and I gave him a little wave without smiling.

  “Alright James,” I said, taking a seat.

  He looked at me with wonder, though there was a hint of the usual mockery in his eyes.

  “Davey,” he said. “Well well well…”

  I laughed for a split second, out of the back of my throat.

  “Want a drink?” he said.

  “No thanks,” I said. Was he trying to wind me up? “Better not. Don’t want any more… accidents.”

  “Had another one did you?” He laughed.

  I shot him a look.

  “You did didn’t you!”

  I shook my head and simply looked elsewhere. Across the park, at the sky, at the birds and the clouds.

  “What?” he continued mercilessly. “The hospital?”

  I could be crap sometimes. This was one such time. I kept looking into space. I had thought by not answering that would someone work as a denial, or at least throw him off.

  “Oh my God Davey you do have a problem don’t you!”

  “Piss off would you.”

  He was in hysterics now.

  “What happened? You didn’t cause any major damage I hope? That’s my tax payers money you’re wasting there.”

  Having had enough, I shook my head and made to get up.

  “Oh don’t be like that,” he said, sitting straight now. “Come on sit down. I’m only messing with you.”